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Dear Jason, I Bring You the Gift of HYSTERICAL PREGNANT NESTING. You're Welcome.
For Jason's birthday, I made him finally replace that godawful Eyeball Nipple Lamp in the living room. Happy birthday, darling! Don't electrocute yourself, or else you might miss next year's birthday, when I make you reface the kitchen cabinets...
Published June 23, 2008 PermaLinkAll Amalah Posts on /Parenting:
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June 13, 2008
PopPop & His Boo Boo Hurt All Better, reports area toddler
Oh, Internet Peoples. Thank you for everything this week, the comments and emails and positive granola mother earth vibes or whatever it was y'all sent out. You guys are the wind beneath my wonderwall, or something.
My dad is FINE. Once again he pulled through something that could have very well killed him in record time and was eating hamburgers within 24 hours and bemoaning the lack of extra ketchup...
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June 10, 2008
Thank you all so much for the prayers and kind thoughts. Noah and I got here yesterday afternoon and he promptly peed through every blessed pair of pants I packed. I've done laundry twice already, although one of those times may have been more because I forgot to add detergent. Maybe. I cop to nothing...
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June 05, 2008
Let's See...There Was Something I Was Supposed To Tell You...Hmm...
Yesterday, while walking back to my car, I was so busy angrily composing a post in my head about how much I despise our area Toys 'R Us -- and yet I love their store-brand diapers! fie! -- that I managed to open my car door directly into my face, smashing my sunglasses across the bridge of my nose, and I still have the faint imprint of a metal frame across my nose and forehead.
What? Oh! RIGHT.
The ultrasound! I plum forgot...
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June 03, 2008
Whoa. The harsh glare of the laptop screen. The pulsing bars of stray wifi signals. Yep. I'm back.
We spent the weekend up with my brother- and sister-in-law and our new delicious niece -- oh, my, lands, what a nummy little bundle of smiles and chub and coos -- out in the wilds of the Boston suburbs where I weirdly did not get cell service and the wifi was a solid brick wall of encryption and passkeys and possibly elvish riddles and while my brother-in-law offered to find me a network cable I opted to slip my laptop back into my luggage and go back to gnawing on his daughter's face instead...
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May 28, 2008
19 Weeks & the Obligatory Halfway Point Meltdown
So the pregnancy. It continues.
The baby kicks, mostly at night, when I'm already struggling to find a comfortable position and properly position a pillow between my legs and huffing and puffing like I'm in the third trimester or something. My belly is small and round and (if I must say) rather cute and I like it. It's high and all in front, just like last time, although I still feel curvier everywhere, and hate the way my thighs look in photos. I've only gained a couple pounds, just like last time, and I had to work for them, forcing myself to eat every few hours and not fighting the second serving of strawberry shortcake Jason insisted I eat last night, and oh, but life is SO HARD...
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May 23, 2008
So, we've shared a lot this week -- we've loved, laughed, learned! -- and I think we've all made some excellent progress towards Better & Fulfilled Marriages, most specifically in the areas of trust, vulnerability, communication and compromise, but I would just like to say that sometimes it is still all about the winning...
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May 20, 2008
My Internet died yesterday morning, very suddenly, but I didn't think it was anything unusual -- I get bumped off our wireless router occasionally and it's never anything some random plug-jiggling or power-cycling won't fix -- but yesterday was different. I couldn't get back on. I power-cycled everything from the router to my laptop to the refrigerator two rooms over and still, no Internet. I sent some frantic emails from my iPhone -- helpless-sounding ones to my husband ("can I like...plug something into the wall? all old school and sh*t? does the Internet still sometimes work like that?") and profanity-laden ones to everybody else ("MAH LIMBS HAVE BEEN REMOVED! I NEED WIKIPEDIA! ALSO HOW DO YOU SPELL SCHADENFREUDE?") ...
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May 16, 2008
Last night, I sat alone in a corner booth of a fast-food burrito joint, with black mascara streaks all over my face.
It was awesome, as you can probably imagine.
Jason sent me an email in the afternoon to tell me there was a work happy hour he had to go to, but he wouldn't be too late.
I sent him an email reminding him that, in typical end-of-the-week fashion, we had no food in the house, so could he pick something up before he came home? Burritos from Chipotle would be good, I suggested. Mmmm, Chipotle, I thought, after hitting send. Chipotle would be very, VERY good...
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May 15, 2008
So. There's This Book. With the Word "Amalah" On It.
After I got my share of the book advance, I went out and pumped myself a full tank of premium gasoline, and then I stopped at Wendy's for a chocolate Frosty and a small order of fries.
And that was the end of the book advance money...
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May 09, 2008
Noah was a tad ornery this morning (perfectly understandable considering days of rain and the head colds that struck each and every one of us down this week, also the fact that I wouldn't let him lick the flatscreen), so I banished him to two minutes on the Naughty Step. He sighed but obediently trudged off and once again I congratulated myself for getting my child-rearing techniques from quality reality television...
